


One Day I'll Fly Away

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Character Death, Flashbacks, Introspection, Love, M/M, Oral Sex, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 14:59:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14523153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: “Kota?” he had heard his name being called while he was reading, sitting on the armchair next to the bed.“What is it, Hikka?” he had asked, smiling.“Let’s leave.”





	One Day I'll Fly Away

Yabu sat in the bedroom, alone.

He held in his hands the pictures of the last trip he and Hikaru had taken together.

The younger smiled, happy.

His eyes were bright, his gaze was lively.

Much more than his own.

He remembered perfectly each of those moments, each word they had said, each gesture made.

He remembered the tension, the fear, the inability of going to sleep, turning his brain off without being constantly chased by nightmares.

But he had done it for Hikaru, because he owed it to him.

And because, after all, it didn’t matter in what corner of Japan they were, the situation wouldn’t have changed.

 

_“Kota?” he had heard his name being called while he was reading, sitting on the armchair next to the bed._

_“What is it, Hikka?” he had asked, smiling._

_“Let’s leave.”_

_He had said that looking outside the window, looking at that sun that he could just see but not feel, closed up in the coldness of that room._

_Yabu had stared at him for a while, without giving him an answer._

_In the end, he had sighed._

_“I don’t think we should, Hikka. What...” he had wanted to ask what was the point of leaving Tokyo, but he had stopped straight away._

_The other had understood anyway, and had looked grave._

_“Please, Ko. I want to go somewhere, you and I alone. I want to run away from this city, I feel suffocating. I want to spend time with you, where we don’t know anybody, somewhere we can spend some time together. Please.” he had begged._

Kota had never been good at denying anything to his boyfriend.

They had left in a rush, as if once the decision had been made, it was impossible to wait any further.

He had brought him to Naha, in the Okinawa prefecture.

Hikaru had always liked the sea, and Kota had still his excited face burned in his mind, when they had gotten off the plane and he had breathed in deeply, inhaling the salty air.

The first night they had holed themselves up in their room, ordering something to eat, without the strength to go out, to do anything at all.

They had stayed on the bed, just talking.

Or better, Hikaru talked and Yabu kept quiet and listened, lost in the emphasis the younger boy was able to put in everything he said, lost in his expression, in his eyes, so lively.

He had fallen asleep holding him tight, burying his face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his smell.

Early morning, they had gone to the beach, finding it almost desert.

They had walked on the warm sand for a while, never letting go of each other’s hand, then Hikaru had asked to get inside the water and Kota hadn’t denied him that either.

They had swum for a while, then the younger had started going underwater, getting to his back, touching him where he shouldn’t have, at least not where other people could’ve seen them.

But Yabu hadn’t said anything to him.

He had let him do just that, had let himself be touched, had caressed him slowly, testing the texture of his wet skin over the water.

In the end, he hadn’t taken it anymore.

 

_They had collected their stuff quickly, getting back to the hotel._

_Closed the door behind their back, Yabu had unceremoniously jumped him._

_He could feel his cock straining against the fabric of his swimsuit, almost painfully, and he rushed to take them off, doing the same with the younger._

_He had made him back off until they both had fallen on the mattress, and he had closed his eyes for a moment, overwhelmed by the warmth of Hikaru’s skin under his, by the feeling of his hands on him, his tongue running down his chest._

_He kept still for a few minutes, as in a trance, then he felt him fidgeting and recovered._

_He started kissing every inch of his skin, touching him, always delicately, feeling that atmosphere so different from every other time he had taken him as if they were animals, as if it was the last thing he was ever going to do in his life._

_There was no urge now, there was just a desire to be closer, to experiment each other’s body till the end, as if they hadn’t shared the same bed for four years now._

_Yabu went down with his tongue on his cock, wrapping his mouth around it, starting a slow but steady pace, hearing the other’s moans blending in his mind with the salty taste of his skin._

_He started prepping him, letting slip inside of him one finger at a time, careful not to hurt him, to hold back as much as he could the desire to have him right now._

_When he deemed him ready, anyway, he hesitated._

_He propped himself up on his hands, getting on top of him and looking straight in his eyes, expression his doubt just with his gaze, without saying a word._

_And Hikaru understood._

_“I won’t break, Kota.” he murmured, trying to smile but not managing that completely, too distracted by what he was feeling._

_The elder didn’t need to be told twice._

_He got more comfortable between his legs and started pushing inside of him, slowly yet determined._

_Hikaru moaned, rolling his head back into the pillow, arching his back to meet his boyfriend’s body, trying to feel more of him._

_The rush, the desire and the too many feelings given by his boyfriend’s body, didn’t let Yabu last long._

_He controlled himself long enough to bring a hand around Hikaru’s cock, moving it at the same rhythm as his thrust inside of him, until the younger came, a moan close to resembling a scream, an expression of pure ecstasy on his face. And it was just by looking at that face that Kota couldn’t take it anymore and came as well, spilling deep inside that body._

_He wished he could’ve collapse on top of him, he feel he couldn’t stay up anymore, but he was careful to roll on the side, slowly slipping out of him._

_He kept still looking at him, distractedly brushing his fingertips on his cheek, moving away strands of hair drenched in sweat._

_Hikaru kept his eyes closed, while he tried to recover his breath._

_He brought a hand to his chest for a split moment, still enough to let Yabu starting to feel oppressed by a feeling of panic._

_In the end he turned toward him, and his finally opened eyes expressed nothing more than serenity._

_“Thank you, Ko.”_

Yabu hadn’t asked what he was thanking him for, he had deemed it superfluous.

He wasn’t completely sure, but he had a pretty decent idea.

He was thanking him for having brought him there, he was thanking him for having stayed by his side, for each of the moments spent together, just the two of them, when he had made him feel like he was exactly where he wanted and with whom he wanted.

When they had gotten back to Tokyo it hadn’t been the same anymore, he hadn’t felt like that again, and everything had seemed to be crumbling down.

Yet they still had the memories of those days to keep them anchored to that reality, making it feel still alive, present.

And from time to time Yabu saw that memory in Hikaru’s eyes, he saw him serene, and he felt slightly better at the thought of having done something for him, even if it was never enough, never like he would’ve wanted to.

He recalled the last words Hikaru had told him before he got convinced to bring him to Okinawa, to leave Tokyo as if they could’ve left there all their problems, as if they weren’t bound to drag them along.

_“Ko, I’m asking for this only. One last memory, ours. Then... I’ll be able to go at peace.”_

And thinking about it, Kota couldn’t help but believe that the younger had had a weird feeling bringing him to make that request.

They had been back for less than two weeks, when he had gotten waken up by a call in the middle of the night.

He had driven like a madmen to the hospital where Hikaru had been admitted a few days before, but he felt like he wasn’t being fast enough.

When he had arrived, the look on the doctor’s face had been enough.

Yabu sighed.

He didn’t like to think about that night, about the night when it had all ended, the night when Hikaru had taken off for his last journey, alone this time.

Kota looked at the pictures one last time, then put them away.

Their journey, he was sure, led a little further.

It led to those days in Naha, it led to the time they had spent together before he had gotten sick, to what they had dragged along after having known about the disease.

Yabu would’ve treasured those memories, he would’ve fed on them to fill the void left by Hikaru in his life.

Because even though he was dead, he knew his presence inside of him was never going to disappear, not completely.

There was still the trace of those memories and of his happy face in him, and death was never going to take them away from him.


End file.
